I remember the darkness, the succubus feeding on my happiness and joy. All the time lost to drink to numb the incessant pain, never to be gained back.
I remember detox, the guilt, the shame, the regret. Having to be vulnerable, admitting to my mistakes, being honest and open. Asking for and accepting help from the Crisis Team, the Drug and Alcohol Team and Motiv8.
I have found the strength and learnt skills to overcome difficulties and to face my mental health issues. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, mindfulness and meditation have all been a massive help. I have discovered and practice Buddhism which is helping me to challenge the emotional filters and negative views learned in childhood. All of the help I’ve received is giving me more confidence and changing the way I see myself, my emotions, other species, other people and the environment. I feel I am stronger and more resilient than I have ever been.
As I look to the future, I plan a career in a social or healthcare role and with this aim I am volunteering for charities to gain experience. Next September I am hoping to go back to college to study for a degree in one of these areas.