I remember that night like it was yesterday. I had been out with a friend playing pool and having a few drinks, and putting the world to rights.
We left each other by the Villa Marina. I headed for the bus station at Lord Street. I started to feel a bit…not me. I wanted to head straight into the sea.
I walked up and sat outside the Buttery. I didn’t know what to do. Should I ring for help, or carry out the plan? I thought of my family. I thought of my friends. I just wanted this heartbreak to end.
But instead I searched my heart. I came up with my brother. Then I knew what I had to do.
I rang CRT in a bad way, emotions buzzing round in my head. Once I got to Grianagh Court, I was met by a member of the nursing staff and psychiatrists. I don’t remember much from then apart from her saying ‘I’ll admit you, just over the weekend.’
Turns out I was there for six months, from January 2014 to June, after TT week. I was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, along with others. Also OCD, dyspraxia, stress, depression, anxiety and problems with binge drinking and eating.
I started attending SMART Recovery in the April of 2014. I’ve been going since then, and I attend Next Step, Motiv8 1 to 1 and Motiv8 sessions. I’ve learned tools to cope with whatever life throws at me, even if I have a lapse – to face any emotionally upsetting situations. I get back on that bird and soar!